Nevertheless, I probably will go on because it’s an important fact and quite integral to why France is even worth visiting at all. Goodness knows it’s not because it’s easy to get around. Or is tourist friendly. Or is well priced. Or many other things that might influence you to choose a holiday destination.
I flew into Paris, Charles de Gaulle, on Saturday morning. Those who know me well know my feelings about CDG Airport for I cannot keep them contained. Nary a travel story goes by without a dishonorable mention of that mess. Indeed, not a mention of Europe, even in the most general and unrelated terms, can be made without tears welling in my eyes as I recall my previous visits to CDG. We are not friends. Imagine my surprise then when I rolled in on Saturday morning and emerged into the frigid Parisian air 10 minutes before my plane had been scheduled to land. A miracle officially happened. Someone call the German in charge of the big Italian Prayer House with the pretty ceiling. Someone needs to fire somebody out of a cannon (er, that is what being cannonized means, right?) in celebration of an impossible scenario coming true.
Not long thereafter, I met Simone at the hotel and we spent a fabulous day walking around beautiful Paris, drinking tea, then champagne and catching up on the last six months apart. By midnight Sunday, we’d covered week 1 of our separation. By the next morning, I had tonsillitis. I was displeased. Nevertheless, I ignored the affliction and carried on. We wanted to see the Musee d’Orsay but in typical French style, the museum staff were striking. Indefinitely. So instead, we went to the Musee de L’erotisme. As you’d expect from the French, this one wasn’t on strike and it only closes for about 5 hours in any 24 hour period. It was an interesting place. I think both Simone and I learned about things we wish we now didn’t know about. Amongst the less seedy things we discovered is that vintage pornographers apparently didn’t much care what their subjects (or is that objects?) looked like and that people’s kissing and other love skills have improved immeasurably over the years. As has personal grooming. At least in the porn industry. It was quite an education. On that highlight, we had to leave beautiful Paris for our next stop: the equally beautiful Loire Valley.
For those non Frenchly-inclined, the Loire Valley is chateaux country. It was the playground of French kings and nobility for quite a few centuries before they all got their heads chopped off by that short fellow with the bad temper. And because they all had an over-developed sense of entitlement and were big on demonstrations of their importance and prestige, the shacks they built along this beautiful river valley are quite spectacular. It has been on my bucket list for a long time to cycle through the Loire Valley, chateaux hopping with a couple of baguettes bouncing in my basket and a beret set at a jaunty angle atop my head. Alas, my bucket list dreams did not account for autumnal weather and my beret is less jaunty and more limp due to rain or at least the constant threat thereof. Undaunted by such trials, we have chateauxed on, but from the comfort of buses and trains rather than velos.
The first stop was Blois Castle, conveniently located in the town we’re staying in. It’s impressive on the outside and has some very interesting architectural styles mixed together, dating from between the 13th and 17th centuries. Vital statistics: it was the residence of several French kings and it is the place where Joan of Arc went in 1429 to be blessed by the Archbishop of Reims before departing with her army to drive the English from Orléans (go Joanie). It has 564 rooms and 75 staircases, although only 23 were used frequently. The other staircases became jealous and mounted an uprising. Just checking if you’re reading carefully. There is a fireplace in each room. There are 100 bedrooms - ie, it’s just a small weekender. I give Blois 6/10. Convenience was a high score, first impressions scored high, external appearance scored high. Interior renovations let it down. The man who went nuts with gilding in the 1800s needs a stern talking to. And the 70s-like floor tiles were very distracting. Simone was unhappy with what she describes as “fake renno” and also gives it a 6/10.
Second stop was a chateaux long held on my list of places I had to see or else feel incomplete for eternity - Chambord. Not just because of the liqueur either. Chambord appeared in my coffee table book of Chateaux of the Loire Valley like an apparition. I had never seen anything as eye-wateringly beautiful as this castle. It looked just as pretty in real life. Construction of this little hunting lodge began in 1519. No one knows who the architect was but there is speculation that it could have been someone as exciting as Leonardo da Vinci himself. The double-helix staircase that forms the central point of the chateaux keep certainly looks like something Leo might design. Poor King Francis who commissioned the build never got to see it finished. Indeed, stop-start building due to wars and such meant that it took over 100 years before it was re-loved enough to be completed. Some argue it is still not complete. It doesn’t have an altogether happy history as a home, truth be told. Over the course of it’s almost 500 year old life, it’s probably been lived in for a total of around 50-odd years. I give it 8/10. It’s beautiful, there are quite a few tastefully appointed rooms to visit, the audio tour is comprehensive and the AV explanation of the castle’s history and archictecture was excellent. I deduct a couple of marks because there were no pretty pottager or flower gardens to go wandering in and because the on-site food offering was of disappointing quality. Simone concurs with the mark.
Next stop was the very charming and comparatively compact Cheverny. It was built in the Louis XIII classical style and has very symmetrical architecture. Built in the first part of the 17th Century, it has belonged to the Hurault family for more than six centuries and the modern-day Marquis and his family still live in it. It’s most famous for being the model upon which the chateaux in Tin-Tin comics was based but it deserves more cred than that. I gave it 7.5/10 because it was charmingly presented, had a pack of puppies and a tour of the grounds included both a boat and golf-cart ride. Simone gave it 8/10 because the grounds were nicer than the other two and because it had a boat ride and a family living in it.
The last castle on our tour was Chenonceau, which has become our undisputed favourite. Firstly, it has a moat. Well, actually, it’s built spanning a river so it’s probably not technically a moat, but it looks like one. It’s looks like something straight out of a fairy tale, which a Rapunzel tower and a Sleeping Beauty quality to the location. It’s on the site of an old mill, which became a fortress but the currently standing building was built between 1515 and 1521, which a range of later additions. It’s referred to as a manor house, but it looks pretty castle-like to me. It was the beloved house of Henri II’s favourite mistress but when he died, his queen got a bit shirty and took it off her, deciding to live there herself. Who says mistresses were acceptable back then? Katie De Medici obviously didn’t think so. The gardens are beautiful, the design is lovely, the internal displays are fabulous (including a rare glimpse at the kitchens and staff areas), we had fabulous food at the restaurant (including amazing chocolate mousse), there was a big pottager garden to enjoy and to my great delight, there was a small herd of donkeys. Simone was very excited by the labyrinth but it turned out to be far too easy to navigate to really have fun in. It’s easy to see why this is one of the most visited chateaux in France. Simone gives it a 9.5/10 and I give it 9/10. I would have given more if I could have patted the donkeys and we were all given a puppy as a farewell gift.
The Loire Valley has been beautiful indeed and I would highly recommend a visit. While the weather hasn’t been superb, the autumnal tree displays more than make up for the chill in the air. The Loire has, however, continued the very French traditions of poor signage, rest room shortages, hoards of tourists interrupting perfect postcard vistas and a general disregard for efficiency or ease of use.
Tomorrow, we hope to do a balloon tour over the valley, weather permitting. After that, we will be driving the only automatic in France down to Provence and the Cote d’Azur. Since Simone is missing the map-reading gene and we have no GPS, I believe we may be in for an adventure. Stay tuned.
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