Everything is bigger in Brazil

Well, I haven’t checked out everything yet but certainly, my first impression of Brazil is that at least the cities and breasts are much bigger here.

The breasts are self explanatory and, contrary to what all the boys will demand, do not require photographic evidence.

The cities - well, they are astonishing. My first stop was Salvador because, not being a details person, I didn’t notice that my flight from Europe wasn’t direct. As much as I hate airport queues, there’s not much you can do to escape them once you are on the travel conveyor belt. One day, I would like to work out a way to travel whereby I can eliminate as many airport queues as possible. I suspect the answer is private jet so if anyone would like to fund my lifestyle, I’d be very pleased to receive donations.

Salvador was my first taste of Brazil and oh wow, it certainly set the scene. Flying in was a similar experience to flying in to LA from the east or circling over London. The city sprawled forever in all directions. And then came Rio. Just in case I thought Salvador was big, Rio came along to reassure me that I ain’t seen nothing yet.

I’m staying in a fabulous studio in Santa Teresa - a historic neighbourhood known for being bohemian and full of artists (they must have all been sleeping when I went out today). Santa Teresa hugs a hill and looks exactly as you’d imagine a bohemian neighbourhood to look - winding streets, crammed with beautiful old yet colourful buildings. Shabby chic before it became banal. The views of Rio from my windows are magnificent. The city is a fascinating mix of old and new, shiny and filthy, architectural and utilitarian. I haven’t braved the city beyond my neighbourhood yet - I have to admit to being every so slightly paranoid about the crime rates I’ve read about, but I’ve very much enjoyed just drinking in the site of the city itself from my serene vantage point.

Tomorrow is another day and I shall try to be brave enough to leave the hood without accidentally winding up in a favela on my way. Wish me luck.